So what if I havn't been blogging daily? Hahaaaa. There's nothing or no one to keep me here and it's my decision when I decide to blog...right?!
Ok good. Now we're through with that... ahah.
I had another blog...about a year ago that I don't use anymore, and I actually have followers on that one because my friend promoted it for me, but I don't want to followers I had on that blog to be reading this blog...because some of them are my close friends, and it sounds weird, but some of the stuff I write on here, they don't even know about. And I don't really want them to know about, because they either HATE music man or don't know about him. So it's just not a good idea all in all.
If they found out I still had really strong feelings about him they'd just tell me the same thing, to forget about him and move on. etc etc etc. I'm sure you know what I mean.
And I know my friends have my best interests at heart, of course. But you can't help the way you feel, and some people just don't get that.
So this is basically asking...should I tell them how I'm really feeling? Would they actually give me any reasonable advice without going off on one about how much of a dick he is?. Probably not, because they're my friends, and that's what friends do, they protect you.
I was tempted to write a massive blog post on my old blog about what's happening and how I'm feeling, and asking people that knew me personally to never ask me about what the blog was about, or who it was about, but then I just realised how awkward it would be between me and my friends if I actually had done that and didn't tell any of them the true meaning behind it.
I just want some advice, that's all. Just someone to tell me what to do.
Someone to tell me to either lay it all out and tell him the 100% truth about what I'm feeling...or someone to tell me to just let the feelings pass by and not say a word.
Writing it down makes it a lot more obvious what I should do, but there's something in my head preventing me from telling him.
Probably the fact that I KNOW he'd just call me a 'headfuck' again.
I wish he'd tell the truth to me, because I know he's not telling me everything.
I know him too well.